This is me trying — but also not trying — to entertain you, dear reader friends
This is me talking to my finger:
inspired by Bob Newhart’s imaginary convos on the phone
Dear finger, I’m sorry you put up with so much stuff. You have to go into some pretty gross places. I’m sorry about that. You are very forgiving.
It’s not all bad. I know I dip you into soft things like whipped cream and cool water from the ocean. I know that I do a pretty good job of taking care of you like I try not to let your nails get too ratty and I make sure I eat good food with iron so you don’t split down in the middle and form ripples like happened that one time which led me to having to be gluten intolerant.
Dear finger, I wonder sometimes how long we will be around? How many years will I know you before we are under the ground and roasted in a firepit or set sail on a ship or turned into dust that is dropped under a tree somewhere indiscriminately that I don’t necessarily want to be?
Dear finger, there is so much more to see in this life besides the same four walls and the same four streets and the same four faces. There are so much more than that.
Dear finger, please don’t be mad at me for not trying hard enough to get off my…
